I was smug as could be, merrily skipping along the frontage road as I made my way westward through the gray morning. Despite all the dire weather projections, I had enjoyed a dry start to the day, cruising through the first ten miles free of concern. Looking back, I could see Pocatello suffering through a good drenching; south, I could see the overcast skies compressing ever more darkly against the hills. But nothing was touching me. I paused at the Sinclair to grab a coffee, and it was pleasant enough to sip the drink outside on a picnic bench.
And then my fortune turned. A black cloudwall came careening toward me with malice aforethought, and the next few hours delivered a steady downpour combined with a battering headwind. That’s never pleasant, but it’s nightmare fuel for a poncho, which has its limitations exposed in a hurry as it flaps and flies around one’s body.
I bailed on the day, cutting the walk short in American Falls and seeking refuge in a hotel. Even if the rain stopped, the sun was taking the day off, and the saturated ground wasn’t going to dry. A night spent on the north side of the Snake River, in an area with practically no shelter of any kind, still damp from the walk… well, it was going to suck. And given that there’s zero rain in the ten-day forecast after today, I didn’t feel bad about the added luxury.
I feared that this would leave me with little to write about, but I was saved by a stroke of good fortune. As I approached the outskirts of American Falls, I noticed a memorial outside the farm to my right, with the following message: “SHAUNA… April 16, 2009 – March 13, 2020. Global cow of the year 2015.” I was in the presence of royalty! I was pleased to discover a video on Youtube that paid homage to Shauna, even if it felt borderline pornographic at times…
But what qualifies a bovine beauty as “global cow of the year”? The honor is determined by Holstein International, and thus it quickly became clear that only a particular type of cow is considered for the award–the Holstein Friesian. Originating in the area near the German/Dutch borderlands, Holsteins are immediately recognizable, as they have the mix of black and white coloring. The primary use in the US is as dairy cows, and in 2008 Holstein cows in the USA produced 23,022 pounds of milk. Not all of them together; each cow on average produced that much milk. It works out to around nine gallons per cow per day. That’s nothing, though–the record-holder, “Selz-Pralle Aftershock 3918” of Wisconsin, produced 78,170 pounds of milk in 2017.
Holstein International explains that the Global Cow of the Year award gives “recognition to the most influential brood cows of the breed,” the one that “has had the greatest impact on the development of the Holstein breed world-wide.” 50% of the final ranking is determined by online voting, so you, too, can make an impact! You can see the 2024 finalists here. HI is insistent, though, about maintaining the integrity of the vote: “We want to emphasize that the goal is to give recognition to the cow that has made the greatest contribution to the progress of the breed via her breeding achievements, and that this should not be strongly influenced by her own conformation score or show ring performance.” If you’re an American who is feeling patriotic, be warned! Half of the twenty finalists are from the USA. I think I’d go for the Swiss cow; they always seem far more content.
In any case, congratulations and RIP to Shauna. We’ll always have that Youtube video.
